


why can't I feel you anymore (when you're right here)

by Bluesalvia



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/F, Heavy Angst, nayeon is sick and tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 19:21:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15298311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluesalvia/pseuds/Bluesalvia
Summary: Same gaze. Same kiss. Same touch. But somehow Nayeon knows it's not the same anymore.





	why can't I feel you anymore (when you're right here)

**Author's Note:**

> ok so mistakes everywhere! pls be bear! and i really want to make a story for sanayeon so here it is! listen to ghost of you by 5sos! i love them so much

Early in the morning, Nayeon wakes up all alone. 

She can’t even cry out that she is hurt because she is getting so used to this. She stares at the other side, it’s empty as always. 

And Nayeon feels so cold, so goddamn cold but it’s like the summer time here, and when did Nayeon give a care about the weather? She remembers the last time she felt cold, she stole the blonde’s sweater, 

‘Ya, Nayeonnie, why are you wearing my sweater?’

‘Because I’m cold, do you want your girlfriend to get a cold huh?’

They were young and dumb and they thought they were in love with each other. 

Nayeon gives out a dry smile, but she still manages to put on that sweater, the one she stole it from her, god knows how much Nayeon doesn’t want to say her name right now.

Ironic much huh? Nayeon remembers how loud she screamed out her name last night, 

“Sana-ah, god, I need y-you right now”, 

And she can still feel her tongue on her, “babe, one more, I know you can do it,”

did Nayeon give her everything. Nayeon just wants to slap herself, how can she be this dumb again? It’s not like she is young anymore. 

Nayeon didn’t know things like love, but she knew Sana, and did she love Sana? Nayeon thought she did, perhaps she still does. 

She loves Sana, she has always loved Sana, and Sana used to love her too, but somehow it’s not the same anymore. 

Sana would still look at her like the same old way, and Nayeon would almost say that Sana still loves her. But when those words came out from Sana’s mouth, Nayeon just knew it was not the same, 

“Nayeon-ah, I have work tonight, just don’t wait up for me”

And Nayeon would just give a nod, she can’t even bring herself to look at her girlfriend’s eyes, as if Sana would be gone forever when she looked at her. 

Now here she is, staring at their couple coffee cups, god knows how much she wants them gone, how much she wants to smack them into pieces, but she stops when she sees the lipstick on Sana’s one. The same lipstick Sana put on her lips last night. 

So maybe Sana still loves her, because she told Sana that she loved it when she used that lipstick, and it’s the same lipstick Sana used last night. 

It’s the same, except they are different. 

The lipstick is the same but the kiss wasn’t. Sana didn’t kiss her like she was the only one for her last night, and Nayeon didn’t feel anything at all last night, perhaps Sana didn’t even kiss her but Nayeon doesn’t remember. 

And Nayeon never knew she can lie. But here she is, lying to herself that the blonde still loves her. 

Somehow Nayeon wants to confront the blonde, she wants to yell at her or cry out to her, but Nayeon just wants to tell her girlfriend that falling out of love is never your fault, you just need to say it instead of fucking me at night like you still love me. 

Nayeon thinks the blonde is just a pathetic coward, but what can she say? Nayeon herself being a good liar is no better than the blonde. 

So Nayeon drowns it out like she always does, she just needs a coffee, and she’ll be alright, hopefully. 

She did get through it when Sana touched her last night, or every other night. 

Sana would still touch her the same way like she used to but Sana didn’t hold her anymore. 

And Nayeon was hurt at first but she did get through it, it was not like Sana could break her into pieces, and Nayeon was not fragile, or was she. 

She doesn’t blame Sana, because how can she blame Sana for falling out of love? But she does want to ask Sana why, why didn’t you wait me til I fell out of love too? Why were you so selfish when you were the one who said you love me, then hanged me here when you fell out of love?

Nayeon thinks she must be slowly turning into a psychopath whenever she thinks of the sight of Sana being fading away but she is right there, Sana is right there,

and Nayeon just wouldn’t feel her anymore. 

And Nayeon is too tired to make her girlfriend fall in love with her once again. 

But she don’t want to let go yet. She can’t let Sana go yet. Not when she hasn’t make Sana cry and then say ‘I don’t fucking care’ to the blonde. 

Call her a twist, Nayeon dares you. 

Nayeon drains out, but she thinks she’ll be alright, it’s not the first time anyway. 

She just wants to dance through their house one more time, with Sana, before the blonde is gone forever. 

So she stares at the blonde, and plays their favourite song, and taking the blonde’s hand, 

The song is sadly playing at the background, and Nayeon just lifts up the other girl’s chin, making the blonde look at her, look at her one more time, 

and god, is it the same gaze. Nayeon doesn’t know, but she doesn’t care anyway. 

And Nayeon places her lips on the blonde’s, to mutter out ‘please don’t leave me’, don’t leave her yet, it’s not the time yet, 

and Sana, does Sana kiss back, Sana doesn’t know, but Nayeon would think it’s not the same anyway. 

And when Sana puts her hands on Nayeon’s hips, Nayeon doesn’t feel anything, but she still hears Sana gently whispering ‘let me love you one more time,’ in her ears, and god, why can’t Nayeon feel anything, 

But if Nayeon dreams long enough, she would be alright. 

So she drowns it out, like she always does, 

and waiting for Sana to come back in the other night.

**Author's Note:**

> it is up to you if sana is gone or not


End file.
